You Found WHAT?!? Why nobody wants Harry (or, things left behind in abandoned storage units)

Being the only employee for a storage facility can get rather lonesome at times.  I do a lot of research and reading during the week trying to find ways to improve marketing and sales.  Our default rate is (gladly) very low in comparison to many facilities and our sales aren't too shabby, either.  So, those "lonely" times can be very beneficial.  But now, I have a guest who has been keeping me company since the last auction.  We'll call him "Harry".  The day after our last auction, one of the bidders came inside and plopped a large canister on my desk and said, "You may want this".  Lo and behold I saw the label attached to it and it was the cremated remains of someone who had been stored in a unit.

As shocking as this may be to some, it happens.  I was floored that someone would even leave remains inside of a unit let alone abandon it with them inside.  So, I set out on a quest to find the owner.  My B.A. focused on strong skills in historical research so I had hoped I could track her down.  I knew it wouldn't be easy because I already apply those same research skills in finding customers who have defaulted on their units (refer back to "low default rate" comment in the first paragraph, pats self on back).  Gladly our bidder returned the next day with paperwork to help with my search.  I was able to piece together a car accident and the fact that this was a spouse of the unit owner.  The accident was out of state as was the crematorium.  The spouse?  Well, still nowhere to be found.

So, I contacted the fine people at MSSOA (Missouri Self Storage Owners Association) who contacted their attorney who then said, "Don't Sell It!"  I had to chuckle after hearing this.  I understand the implications of selling something this personal but I'm quite uncertain there would be a buyer in that market to begin with...if there even is a market for selling cremated remains? He then suggested calling the police. However, that thought had already come to mind so I had beat him to the punch.  I called the local police department who passed me around a few times and then concluded they had no area for remains and I should contact our attorney.  Hmmmm......

I then called a local funeral home and the woman on the other end was completely baffled.  She said she would research it if I would email her the information.  As of today's writing, Harry is still with us.  Last week we had a large event we worked and because it was a shortened work-week, I decided to wait out word from the local funeral home.  First day of the week is always very busy so today, I decided to contact the crematorium listed on the side of the box.  They, too, have no idea what to do with Harry.  I sent the information to them but they are pretty certain they won't be able to do anything with the remains, either.

So, I sit back and envision taking a road trip with Harry to disburse his remains.  I ponder if he was a lover of water.  Should I travel to the ocean and spread the ashes into the wind as we bid him adieu with tears in our eyes?  "Ahh, that Harry, what a wonderful navigator of the seas! Spending his final days rescuing orphans from evil lands afar.  What an honorable man!"  Or perhaps he ventured to kingdoms in foreign lands?  "An avid climber, Harry once carried his wife, the love of his life, on his back as he effortlessly climbed to the peaks of Mt. Everest!" Or perhaps he was as simple man who loved to read while surrounded by trees in the forests of Northern California.  "As Harry finished the last page of Great Expectations, his pipe emitting the soft scent of cherry tobacco, he reflected upon his own life.  As he did this, a small sparrow flew down and perched upon his lap. Harry was a good man and lived a blessed life."

As I look up and see the time that has passed, I wonder in all actuality if Harry is having fun wherever he may be.  I wonder where his wife is and hope that she is doing well and perhaps just suffering from partial  amnesia (since I still cannot imagine why someone would leave remains behind for no good reason).  If that is the case, perhaps she is also wondering where Harry is as well.  Maybe she thinks he is still atop Mt. Everest searching the skies for his lovely wife ("Helloooo down theyah!"). Realistically, though, I know in my heart Harry was forgotten, left behind, abandoned like the other items in the unit.  As I continue to give time to do more research,  I still have a glimmer of hope of finding his family.  I believe Harry deserves this.  In the meantime, I hope I am good company for him.  I tend to be almost as quiet as Harry most of the time but not quite as reserved, thank God.


UPDATE ON HARRY:  Thank you to the Jackson County Coroner's office for picking Harry up and reuniting him with his son.

Michelle Armstrong
Manager
Star Storage
816-765-7300